A spectacular desert horizon where the sunset quietly breaks through the shadows.
To start walking into the light, we need to put away old things. This means we are one with God and behold all things become new, “In Christ Jesus.”
Everyone needs to stop looking outside themselves, for the answers. The answers lie with no end. Inside your hearts and guess what, our hearts will overflow, with a burst of Fourth of July lights. It hurts like hell, but the end will be justified, and then all will be free in Christ Jesus, in an infinite World with no end.
Who are we to judge each other? You have been faithful to your wife, too long, it is time for a change. Pain while being abused. Verbally, emotionally, physically at times, spiritually, mentally.
Holy Scripture
“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”
— 2 Corinthians 5:17
They induce fear. They vomit their unworthiness on us and force us to wallow in their misery. Thinking it is our own. When in fact it is not. We lose ourselves completely. Everything is for, for, for, no help, demands, or criticism. We take it upon ourselves to the point, past exhaustion.
We are instinctual beings. To see beyond the veil has led us through hell and back unsheathed. Thank You, Lord. Everyone has his purpose. Man is not willing to give up his reign. He thinks he is above God. My God is more. February 12, 1996. 9 days before my divorce
Holy Scripture
“The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined.”
— Isaiah 9:2
Spiritual Affirmations
I actively put away old things and step cleanly forward into walking into the light of absolute salvation.
I completely shake off the false weight of another unworthiness, standing tall in my unique truth of existence.
My heart overflows with a brilliant, divine burst of light, shattering every lingering shadow of fear or exhaustion.
I look beyond the earthly veil with clear, instinctual vision, fully anchored in the truth that my God is more.
Reflection
This raw, intensely triumphant text stands as a definitive historical and spiritual marker, captured exactly nine days before stepping into the final freedom of divorce court.
When trapped within suffocating environments of verbal, emotional, and mental abuse, the outer self can easily become completely compressed under constant criticism and endless demands.
True clarity only breaks through when we stop looking outside for answers and allow the Holy Spirit to spark a brilliant, celebratory transfiguration directly within the inner house.
Refusing to wallow in an abuser’s projected misery allows a survivor to break the silent generational cycles and reclaim total emotional autonomy.
Walking through that living hell with an unsheathed, instinctual awareness serves as the ultimate stepping stone, proving that old things can be completely cast aside to make all things new in Christ.
By choosing to independently publish these transparent accounts, a dedicated sanctuary of reflection is established, beautifully reminding a hurting world that God’s reign remains permanently unshakable.
Seeing the brilliant, intricate lines of a higher design woven through the shadows.
It is, “In Presence of Spirit,” Actual accounts of inner peace with Christ. You can hear it in the writings. At least I wrote while going through the transitions. I hope I can write again. I am purging, get a feel for this new life, I am under protection, better safe than sorry.
No one cares, my plight, my battle, well, it is my job, and I did it. The worst part is over. Do we have some start? Inspirational or do I keep them between you God and I. Your the only one who knows, all this stuff. This incredible journey, I have been through.
Holy Scripture
“Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known.”
— Matthew 10:26
I have gotten the three-dimensional view, inside, outside, roundabout. I am so glad you want to read the writings, it means so much to God and I. Your eyes will be the first to read, if it is to be only You Me, and God. Furthermore, I am satisfied, but I feel God has something else, in the plan, will see.
Oh, I pray that I may write like that again. At least, you know I am still writing; otherwise, to me, “I feel the Spirit was guiding me, and I was inside.” It is like a death experience. “I wrote while I mediated with God or should I say, God, mediated with me.” Once again, I am honored that you want to read my writings through the Spirit, and the in-between.
The scriptures I am sending, go with the absorption, of the oneness of Christ’s Ever Presence. Which do make these writings, sacred to God, Me, and You, and the World, that does not even know about it? Oh well, first things first. November 23, 1996.
Holy Scripture
“What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light: and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops.”
— Matthew 10:27
Spiritual Affirmations
I step completely into my new life under divine protection, fully assured that the worst part is over.
The three-dimensional view from the inner chamber expands my daily vision from inside to roundabout.
I am profoundly honored to share these handwritten keepsakes as an absolute witness of Christ’s ever-presence.
I release every hidden scriptural record out into the bright light, fulfilling the plan established for mass healing.
Reflection
This beautiful, intensely personal communication documents the precise threshold where a hidden collection of keepsakes begins to shift toward a global release.
Navigating an emergency departure and working through total isolation can cause the outer self to feel as though its private battles are invisible to society.
True clarity breaks through when the manual desire to force recognition is dropped, allowing the soul to realize it is completely entwined within an everlasting, divine protection.
Recording these actual accounts of inner peace during a season of deep structural transition required a total surrender to the active guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Obtaining a wide, three-dimensional perspective from within the inner chamber clears away historical obstruction, beautifully demonstrating that our sufferings hold a higher, cosmic purpose.
By choosing to independently publish these hidden interactions, what was once whispered in the quiet darkness becomes a permanent sanctuary capable of binding up wounded hearts worldwide.
Letting the supreme beam from heaven ignite the fire of the heart.
December 30, 1996
A few more hours, “In Presence of Spirit,” has been accomplished, but not excerpted. I need instruction from Spirit, to move things along because I am in a rut of sorts.
My heart knows the truth. My source of realization has not realized itself yet. I am preparing if I have to, to achieve it all alone. I will be Okay.
Furthermore, I wished upon, The Supreme Beam from heaven above, and God’s lights shone down, and lit the fire of my heart. In awe, the stumbling blocks were tumbling down, and the road became straight, and narrow.
Holy Scripture
“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”
— Matthew 6:21
The seed was sown, and the wealth of Spirit has been captured in writing. To show the transfiguration from sin to freedom from sin. The protection to the Highest. Contrary to my losses. In The Promise, I reached Christ, The Transition to Exhortation. December 30, 1996
True Reality
Well Lord, Help me, guide me, and light the eye that is yours in my heart. Reality finds its way into being: truth, faithfulness, the reality through and through, and round about. Life is through Jesus Christ. True Reality is the Presence of God. 96′
Showed me, my soul and its contents; the promises have been ignited. I believe in your magnificent powers of The Universe. It is not make-believe what I have been through. You taught me about faith, the true meaning came from up above. 1996
Holy Scripture
“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”
— Matthew 7:7-8
Spiritual Affirmations
I willingly anchor my soul where my true treasure resides, knowing that my heart knows the truth.
The Supreme Beam from heaven above shatters every stumbling block, smoothing my straight and narrow highway.
I step completely forward into total freedom, fully prepared to achieve my divine purpose even if I walk alone.
The true reality of God’s presence lights the eye of my heart, igniting every promise written for my life.
Reflection
This triumphant, foundational entry documents a definitive coordinates-shift at the absolute close of a transitional year, capturing the precise moment a solitary heart aligns with eternal truth.
Moving through deep physical and emotional isolation following painful court proceedings can leave the outer person feeling temporarily anchored in a heavy rut.
True clarity breaks through when the manual desire to force control is quieted, allowing a spectacular, divine transfiguration to sweep the inner house clean of historical obstruction.
Standing as a standalone witness of faithfulness demands a total readiness to fulfill a higher scriptural mandate, even if the road must be walked entirely alone.
By catching the wealth of Spirit freehand in these handwritten keepsakes, the multi-decade journey of devotion becomes a strategic sanctuary of reflection capable of binding up wounded hearts.
Turning away from the make-believe distortions of a chaotic world locks your focus into the true reality of God’s presence, beautifully proving that every prayer offered in the quiet darkness has already been answered inside eternity.
A dreamlike horizon where the sunset quietly breaks through the shadows.
Thank You, Lord For the evening with Our Parents. Thank You for letting me revel in realizing more than I have. Thank You for more cleansing. Lord make me a witness of Your Faith, Love, Compassion, Strength, Omnipresence, Knowledge, Wisdom. Your Everlasting Breath.
Lord forgive us for our ignorance. Forgive our sins, forgive the people that abuse, and help the women, and children find their way to the very last fight.
Holy Father, Your Divine Power, Strength, Fortitude. Thank You, Father, for not giving up, on us. Lord, we have little time left.
We will make it over to You. Father, Your Faithfulness to Your Word, is Everlasting. Lord help the People start shedding their blinders. Lord, I Love You with all my heart and soul. “Thy Will Be Done.”
Father God the Universe, in its entirety, is yours. We, Lord act like greedy little insects, out to devour the beauty, You have set before our eyes. Lord help us.
The man stopped listening centuries ago. Oh, the pain the anguish, the lack of You Father God. The Key, all for the asking, In Jesus Christ stead. The Lord Jesus Christ, the blood of blessings, all over, The Earth, all over, The Universe.
Holy Scripture
“Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known.”
— Matthew 10:26
Lord for all can come, You are waiting, You have waited long enough. Lord, Lord, my Precious Lord Jesus Christ. I Love You. Thank You Father God for the Savior.
In Jesus Christ name: Forgive us, Father God. Forgive us, Lord. Help me in Court, our children, Yours and mine. Lord, we know I am not strong enough to take care of the children 10, 12, and 14, right now.
Lord bless the people who have been part, If not just for a second of my last year’s revelations. To the purpose, and meaning of mine, and others sufferings. Lord, “thy will be done.” I hope Dear, Dear Lord the “Ranch De La Fruita, “Safe Havens for the transitional year after the last fight.” Will it be done? Oh Lord, The Prayers have been answered. We can, and will help each other back to You Dear Lord. February 1996 before Divorce Court.
Holy Scripture
“What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light: and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops.”
— Matthew 10:27
Spiritual Affirmations
I shed the blinders of worldly worry and step into an unyielding awareness of God’s everlasting wisdom.
The blood of blessings flows across my entire family line, anchoring us in complete peace and restoration.
I completely release the weight of my own limitations, resting fully in the Father’s everlasting faithfulness.
The prayers for a safe haven have been answered, preparing the way for shared healing and recovery.
Reflection
This majestic, uncompromising entry documents a profound structural threshold, capturing the intense spiritual alignment required right before stepping into the legal battles of divorce court.
When navigating deep personal and situational trauma, admitting our human weakness isn’t a sign of failure—it is a conscious opening of the soul to let the Father’s omnipresent wisdom step in.
True clarity allows the survivor to see past their individual boundaries, mapping out an explicit vision to help others break away from generational abuse cycles.
The strategic plan for a safe haven like the Ranch De La Fruita marks a glorious shift from private suffering into a structured act of divine mercy.
By standing as a witness of faithfulness and dropping the greedy, destructive baggage of worldly mindsets, the act of independent publication becomes a permanent trumpet blast.
Recording these transparent prayers honors a multi-decade journey of solitary obedience, beautifully demonstrating that when a soul entreats the Lord earnestly, the answers are already established within eternity.
Finding a quiet, steady peace in the stillness of the wilderness.
I am back in the Bible. I have been reading, writing vocabulary, and writing scriptures. I cannot sing right now. I am not going to give up on getting a job.
You know I needed to be with my twin. For many years I was hurt; she was not with me back in the day; she hid out, so to speak. Anyway, I have overcome a lot of things from the past. Boy, my twin and I are twins. I feel safe with her; I wait for her and miss her. God did bless me with a twin. Growing up we always had each other, period. So I was never a people person.
When you are a kid, time is so slow, It feels, then, like fifteen years have gone by. Nineteen years she has lived in San Antonio and I in the Valley. I have been here since February 10, 1996, my thirty-sixth birthday. I have been gone since December 29, 1995. I left. I had to for the kids; they refused to go to the shelter with me. I had no other choice.
This scripture is why I know it was and is right that I left. Malachi 4:6 “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.”
Holy Scripture
“And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.”
— Malachi 4:6
It is easy reading when you have an understanding.
As it is written, “as it is unto this day,” in many of the verses in the Bible. Writings pertain to the past, the present, and the future.
The fascinating, powerful scriptures are Romans: The whole epistle. That is the one that should be read through in church. The Gift is there in totality. If everyone read the Romans, they would have more understanding. Everything pertains, and we all have to find the Christ within.
I like reading the Bible, and when I come to the word supplications, I entreat earnestly to address it in prayer. Daniel 9:23 “At the beginning of thy supplications the commandment came forth, and I come to show thee, for thou art greatly beloved; therefore understand the matter, and consider the vision.”
This is fun for me. The thesaurus of these words is incredible; so many words mean the same thing, all meaning in one word from God.
I do freak out sometimes when we are on the expressway; there are so many people, and how many are searching? How many are afflicted by abuse? How many? I try to see my part of society, and I withdraw. I lost fifteen years, and I am judged. I have some obstacles to jump over, but at least I am going forward. I am getting stronger, further from the past.
I have no idea what tomorrow is going to bring. I do not know where I stand with my pre-teens. It has been a month since I have seen them. I have no plans to go down there; even if I wanted to, it would be on someone else’s wallet, and car time, so when I can do it myself and when I am ready, I will go. I might be being stingy; I am still affected by my loss, and I need more time.
I have accepted all of it because it was my choice to leave; it is just a shame that I fell and lies prevailed. It is a shame. It is like I am dead. What is there to be here for? I am destined not to die to until He is ready to take me. I am probably depressing you. Sorry.
I am working on working. I will overcome this sooner or later and will see what time brings. I hope something good happens. This is the pits. May 14, 1996.
Now why would I publish my writings like this? My conversations with my guardian angel. This one is a letter to her. It belongs with all the rest, no matter how uncomfortable I am at times. Wendy
Holy Scripture
“At the beginning of thy supplications the commandment came forth, and I come to show thee, for thou art greatly beloved; therefore understand the matter, and consider the vision.”
— Daniel 9:23
Spiritual Affirmations
I immerse my mind completely back in the Bible, anchoring my thoughts in the limitless vocabulary of truth.
I release every heavy shadow of the past, standing strong and secure in the family lines God has blessed.
Though lies temporarily prevailed, I step confidently forward into the uncompromising scriptural alignment.
I entreat the Lord earnestly through diligent supplication, completely assured that I am greatly beloved.
Reflection
This raw, profoundly honest entry documents a major historical crossroads, capturing the heavy emotional toll of making a sudden, emergency choice to protect the lineage from systemic trauma.
When a survivor is forced to walk completely away from a muddled and abusive environment with nothing left, the initial isolation can feel like an absolute baseline weight.
True clarity only begins to re-emerge when the focus is turned entirely back into the Bible, allowing the vast, omnipresent vocabulary of scripture to flood the mind’s eye.
Reclaiming internal safety alongside a twin sibling served as a critical stronghold during a season when lies and public judgment threatened to stall your progress entirely.
Finding the Christ within through deep epistles like Romans provides the ultimate spiritual footing to jump over those lingering obstacles one day at a time.
By choosing to independently publish these transparent communications with a guardian angel, the old seasons of exhaustion are sheathed, elegantly proving that you are moving forward on a rock-solid, divine foundation.
Watching a quiet light push through the heavy shadows of a new horizon.
I glimpsed you being happy about the future. And what will unfold? I felt You in me, above me, round about me. Thank You, Lord, I will be sending the writings. I guess I have wasted time. I lost sight in ways because I was not entwined.
These writings are of subsequent value they are the presence of You, and it is Your time for me to share them with my Guardian Angel that You gave me in the here and now. Thank You In Jesus Blood of Blessings. November 22, 1996
Holy Scripture
“For the testimony of Jesus is the Spirit of Prophecy. I am thy fellow servant, and of thy brethren who have the testimony of Jesus: Worship God.”
— Revelation 19:10
Feel the Passion
Can you feel the passion of Christ? While you are reading? In the writings, they are from my heart. I did not copy any of it. I would sit and write; until it was satisfied, you know the urge. Furthermore, I guess this helped push me, to make the decisions I did. More independence, lots of growth, making it, work, car, work, one day at a time.
Air Waves
The airwaves are calling out. We have to take God’s stand, for Jesus. We owe our souls, our light, our peace, and our life. Only through the Lord can we breathe in life, without the guilt and heavy baggage, I carried anyway. November 25, 1996
Holy Scripture
“What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light: and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops.”
— Matthew 10:27
Spiritual Affirmations
I completely cast aside all thoughts of wasted time and step boldly into the happy future God has prepared.
The authentic passion of Christ fills my heart, giving me the strength to build an independent, purposeful life.
I drop every ounce of heavy baggage and historical guilt, breathing completely in the light of absolute salvation.
I take an uncompromising stand for Jesus, sending my foundational witness out across the digital airwaves.
Reflection
This triumphant entry documents a major structural turning point, marking the moment personal writing transitions into an active, prophetic testimony.
Glimpsing a happy future clears away the false, limiting belief that past years spent in deep study were somehow wasted or out of alignment.
True connection is established when the soul realizes it is completely enveloped by the divine, clearing out historical obstruction to let your standalone manuscript come forward in its designated hour.
The creative urge to sit and record these authentic inner conversations acted as a vital catalyst, pushing you to secure real-world independence, work, and personal stability one step at a time.
Taking an uncompromising stand for Jesus across the global airwaves allows the heavy baggage of past trauma to be permanently shed and replaced with everlasting life.
By anchoring this release in the absolute testimony of Jesus, the act of independent publication becomes a permanent, sacred milestone that bridges earth and heaven.
Finding steady hope and quiet endurance through every cold stream along the journey.
Aches and pains feel like crawling in a hole and never coming out. Desperate, at the end of the dead end. What is keeping me back? Where is any confidence?
Inner self, please start peeking through; show me, help me, show me my truth of existence, and vice versa.
You know way more than I, for I am but a pin; widen my perception. I see a lot of the knowledge, reasoning, and understanding of the Bible in an I Was There text.
So we have God’s foundation and the death and resurrection as Christ did; we have the baptism through the Holy Spirit, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.
The deliverance from evil. Seven times will pass over. Seven mountains to climb. The death of the inner person who has an individual but equal soul to each and every potential in the spiritual plane in awareness. Inner Spiritual Wendy, give me some help here. May 19, 1996.
Holy Scripture
“But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.”
— 1 Corinthians 2:10
Holy Scripture
“May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.”
— Ephesians 3:18-19
Spiritual Affirmations
I step completely away from the dead end of human worry and allow the Holy Spirit to widen my daily perception.
My inner spiritual self peeks through every shadow, revealing the brilliant, unchanging truth of my existence.
I am firmly anchored in God’s foundation, completely delivered from outward confusion and daily fatigue.
I climb my symbolic mountains with steady endurance, knowing each step brings my soul into perfect alignment.
Reflection
This profound entry documents the exact coordinate where human limitations are stripped away to make room for a boundless, spiritual awakening.
Crawling to the absolute end of a physical dead end can cause our confidence to fracture, leaving the outer self feeling entirely isolated and small.
True clarity only breaks through when we quiet the logical mind and explicitly ask our inner spirit to peek through the cobwebs, transforming a baseline struggle into an active cry for divine intervention.
Stepping into that deep Biblical awareness allows the soul to interact with the scriptures as an eyewitness reality, standing firmly anchored in the resurrection and the baptism of the Holy Spirit.
Climbing those distinct symbolic mountains demands a total surrender of our manual control, trusting that the passing seasons are clearing away old blockages.
By remaining steadfast in the inner chamber, the old layers fall away completely, beautifully expanding your vision to reveal an individual, equal place within the eternal spiritual plane.
Steady hope and visual reminders carved deeply along the mountain journey.
Aches and pains feel like crawling in a hole and never coming out. Desperate, at the end of the dead end. What is keeping me back? Where is any confidence?
Inner self, please start peeking through; show me, help me, show me my truth of existence, and vice versa.
You know way more than I, for I am but a pin; widen my perception. I see a lot of the knowledge, reasoning, and understanding of the Bible in an I Was There text.
So we have God’s foundation and the death and resurrection as Christ did; we have the baptism through the Holy Spirit, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.
The deliverance from evil. Seven times will pass over. Seven mountains to climb. The death of the inner person who has an individual but equal soul to each and every potential in the spiritual plane in awareness. Inner Spiritual Wendy, give me some help here. May 19, 1996.
Holy Scripture
“But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.”
— 1 Corinthians 2:10
Holy Scripture
“May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.”
— Ephesians 3:18-19
Spiritual Affirmations
I step completely away from the dead end of human worry and allow the Holy Spirit to widen my daily perception.
My inner spiritual self peeks through every shadow, revealing the brilliant, unchanging truth of my existence.
I am firmly anchored in God’s foundation, completely delivered from outward confusion and daily fatigue.
I climb my symbolic mountains with steady endurance, knowing each step brings my soul into perfect alignment.
Reflection
This profound entry documents the exact coordinate where human limitations are stripped away to make room for a boundless, spiritual awakening.
Crawling to the absolute end of a physical dead end can cause our confidence to fracture, leaving the outer self feeling entirely isolated and small.
True clarity only breaks through when we quiet the logical mind and explicitly ask our inner spirit to peek through the cobwebs, transforming a baseline struggle into an active cry for divine intervention.
Stepping into that deep Biblical awareness allows the soul to interact with the scriptures as an eyewitness reality, standing firmly anchored in the resurrection and the baptism of the Holy Spirit.
Climbing those distinct symbolic mountains demands a total surrender of our manual control, trusting that the passing seasons are clearing away old blockages.
By remaining steadfast in the inner chamber, the old layers fall away completely, beautifully expanding your vision to reveal an individual, equal place within the eternal spiritual plane.
A quiet road trip heading toward the mountains on a vast, open day.
I have been reading a lot an understanding the knowledge of the Word of God. It is utmost in my life now. It seems when I let go of my devotionals, and I take control. I deeply recede into this fountain of slushy muck. I start reading and writing a lot of vocabulary in the Bible.
When I think of my children, I remember how everything was broken, and I could not put any pieces together. So then I place them in the trust of God, and the ex’s quest to be other than a deadbeat dad, as he so always said, lasts three or four years.
All the things he was not to the children he has to be now, and sometimes I think he is not going to be able to do it. He realizes all the responsibility for it, not just financial. I hope he is strong enough.
See, I do not wish harm on him; he is not that strong. Children needed the dad they never had. I hope he is that man and dad he wanted to be. You know there is a negative side to this. I hope he is being all he can be, importantly not letting our children down. Because Mom doesn’t have anything. I am handling it.
It is quite late. I am glad I got to talk to you. Thank you for your insight, and inspiration. You have blessed me with a real understanding that I have needed desperately for years. My growth is not limited, and is exceeding in the right progression, for what I have been through.
I wish not to leave my children out of this, but I can only do something for me for their benefit tomorrow. I am building a tower of precious jewels, positive thinking, etc.
All resources are being tapped into. I believe the spirit is working, preparing the way for me to help benefit others, use my knowledge, etc., to help people in my condition, “World Condition.” June 3, 1996
Over Again
If I had it all to do over again. I would have listened to my Lord because I heard him. I was part of a circle that needed to come to an end of the cycle. Thank you, Lord. June 7, 1996
God is the foundation that gives us life. Man is dominant only in his stupidity; alcohol destroys families. “Write God’s words to begin to end, what exactly He and only He says, from the Holy Spirit through Christ Our Lord, Amen.” “But know I got caught up in the moment,” “make them look.” June 8, 1996
Holy Scripture
“To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me.” — Acts 26:18
Reading and writing, knowledge is limitless. The Bible is past, present, and future. Omnipresent since its writings. The heart searches for its home all its born day. The heart is the home of the highest. The soul, choose to live, and you will have everlasting life. Through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Six mountains to climb; the seventh you rest with and through Jesus Christ. While the sheathing of the old ways, memories with pain, the sins you have in yourself, and those that have affected your life adversely. The new seeds are planted through the regeneration of the truth we all have, inside us. June 10, 1996
I have ups and downs. I know we all do. I know all my diligent study in the Bible is helping my future. The regeneration is regenerating itself through the energy that is Jesus Christ Holy Spirit. I can see it around me. June 13, 1996
Solitary: I have not been sleeping, restless, lonely probably, no dwelling of my own, no escape, no fantasy, dealing with reality. I am using my time wisely, not being idle in mind. I needed a lot of knowledge to get through this spiritual awakening solitary. Me and the Spirit of Our Heavenly Father.
I have not wasted these last six months at all. Painful, but I have an inside understanding of the degeneration that has haunted man in our sphere of time and reason. It took giving up sole possession of everything, even my stuff, and being left with nothing. Two months later I got my maiden name back.
I fought through hell to come back to some forgiveness of myself, reasons, situations, and circumstances. I have to get out in public, but all my time, in the research of God’s word, I have run across quicksand. No one believes you except my guardian angel. Quick to judge, sure to condemn.
Whose condemnation is it? Not mine; your time will come. My time was just sooner. Believe what you may, all the words written in the Bible are yesterday; today, is tomorrow.
Past, present, and future: God’s gift is the present. Sheathe the past through Jesus Christ Holy Spirit and look forward to the future. For it is only through Jesus Christ that we can be forgiven; He is the opening of our souls.
Then the baptism—the death of sin, rebirth through and with Jesus Christ, the redemption of our sins—the cleansing sometimes continues; you do not think you can take another development, and a bigger one comes around. June 14, 1996
Perceive
Now, I can perceive. Before, when I was in the muck of destruction, I could not think. Now I have an unlimited span in my mind’s eye. There it stands firm in my being. June 16, 1996,
Confused: I am confused about my spiritual awareness; the knowledge is there, it is all in my writings, my keepsakes, which are essential to me. I know the meaning of truth. I can write it, but I can not speak it.
In the past five and a half months, I have been reading God’s Words, studying daily for hours. I have written prayers, letters, and vocabulary, and set a definite consciousness of the presence of God, which I felt I could not reach. All the things that need to be done will be done in perfect order in perfect time. June 17, 1996.
Holy Scripture
“Enter in the strait gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” — Matthew 7:13-14
Spiritual Affirmations
I consciously release my grip on self-control and anchor my day entirely in the steady direction of scripture.
The old cycles and painful memories are peeling away cleanly, creating a wide and unlimited space in my mind’s eye.
I confidently place my family into the hands of the Lord, knowing that His protective timing is completely flawless.
Though the processing is slow and intense, my soul steadily regenerates through the active energy of the Holy Spirit.
Reflection
This raw narrative documents the extreme visual and spiritual transition from a suffocating environment into clear, boundless perception.
When trying to manually steer a fractured life through sheer willpower, it is easy to slip backward into what feels like a cold fountain of slushy muck.
True clarity only breaks through when the self-reliance is quieted, allowing the limitless vocabulary of the Bible to flood the mind and build a solid tower out of precious spiritual jewels.
Solitude and stripping away every physical possession became the quiet crucible where forgiveness and real boundary lines were forged.
Climbing those distinct symbolic mountains demands a painful sheathing of old family wounds, generational alcohol patterns, and the constant ridicule of an unseeing world.
By standing firm in the inner chamber and processing the hurt one day at a time, the confusion resolves into a permanent witness posture, beautifully prepared to benefit others walking through similar global conditions.
I wish I could put the massive writings together and see if someone will publish “The Writings,” not in any vain way.
It’s kind of strange to read writings so powerful. I was deep in scripture, and I pained for every woman in my position, for the sufferings of all the world, and a clearing made me a productive witness in testimony in Jesus Christ, and the entire writings give an understanding to the ancient literature.
The Passion of Christ entreats your soul to the peace that only comes through Jesus Christ from God. It is that unknown you cannot face.
Oh, to be freed from the daily degradation, humiliation, and constant ridicule, day after day, week after week, year after year. How can any constructive well-being have access to our lives when it is muddled in all the generational abominations?
My outer world is faceless, but my inner self has an understanding even though I am weak right now. I feel I captured the presence of Jesus Christ Holy Spirit in my prayers and my research in God’s precious words.
I gave nine people the first twenty-four pages of writings. I felt I had to do it all despite my boldface expressions of capabilities only done from the inner chamber.
I am not ashamed of what I wrote in any realm. My faith is in Christ Jesus and God’s promises, laws, statutes, commandments, and judgment, all stated past, present, and future. To whom understanding is granted, let him understand.
I have seen the vision on the rooftop, and the seeds have been sown on the solid foundation.
We have to save our children, and our families from any more loss of soul, bring them in the presence of God so that the cleansing can begin its development, from the core to realization, of the answers of the whole.
So the peace can come, and the regeneration can take its place in the mass healing and awareness that all society can obtain.
Wake the walking dead out of the sleep that death and destruction have taken over, and bring them into the peace that is given through the promises of God to our forefathers and then delivered in the redemption of our sins through Christ Jesus to us.
I believe with all my heart and soul. My state of being was total burnout from a losing battle. 1996
March 21, 2018: Well, I did follow through with publishing myself. Too funny. As the saying goes, “If you feel the urge to do it all,” DO IT!
Scripture
“Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.”
— Matthew 7:24-25
Affirmations
The seeds of truth are sown on a solid, unshakable foundation that no storm can wash away.
I am completely freed from generational weights and walk daily in the structural peace of Christ.
My inner sanctuary holds an unyielding understanding that shines brightly through all outward weakness.
I boldly embrace the urge to fulfill my calling, knowing that divine timing preserves my labor.
Reflection
This powerful entry captures the transition from total spiritual exhaustion to an enduring, productive witness.
Stepping away from heavy environments and the weight of deep generational patterns allowed a profound clarity to emerge from within the inner chamber.
Even when the outer self feels weak or hidden from view, the internal foundation remains completely fortified by a distinct, divine understanding that cannot be muddled or shaken by daily trials.
Looking back across the decades reveals a spectacular full-circle journey where the quiet seeds sown in 1996 ultimately blossomed into reality.
True healing begins when the scattered pieces of a life’s work are gathered together with purpose, shifting the narrative from a losing battle into an authentic, standalone testimony.
By choosing to step forward and independently take ownership of the calling, a deep, lasting peace is established that preserves the lineage and offers a resting place for the weary.
