Spirit Presence How to Climb Out of Slushy Muck and Rebuild Your Foundation

Slushy Muck

A long, open stretch of empty highway cutting forward through a vast landscape with a large mountain range stretching across the horizon miles away. — A quiet road trip heading toward the mountains on a vast, open day.

I have been reading a lot an understanding the knowledge of the Word of God. It is utmost in my life now. It seems when I let go of my devotionals, and I take control. I deeply recede into this fountain of slushy muck. I start reading and writing a lot of vocabulary in the Bible.

When I think of my children, I remember how everything was broken, and I could not put any pieces together. So then I place them in the trust of God, and the ex’s quest to be other than a deadbeat dad, as he so always said, lasts three or four years.

All the things he was not to the children he has to be now, and sometimes I think he is not going to be able to do it. He realizes all the responsibility for it, not just financial. I hope he is strong enough.

See, I do not wish harm on him; he is not that strong. Children needed the dad they never had. I hope he is that man and dad he wanted to be. You know there is a negative side to this. I hope he is being all he can be, importantly not letting our children down. Because Mom doesn’t have anything. I am handling it.

It is quite late. I am glad I got to talk to you. Thank you for your insight, and inspiration. You have blessed me with a real understanding that I have needed desperately for years. My growth is not limited, and is exceeding in the right progression, for what I have been through.

I wish not to leave my children out of this, but I can only do something for me for their benefit tomorrow. I am building a tower of precious jewels, positive thinking, etc.

All resources are being tapped into. I believe the spirit is working, preparing the way for me to help benefit others, use my knowledge, etc., to help people in my condition, “World Condition.” June 3, 1996

Over Again
If I had it all to do over again. I would have listened to my Lord because I heard him. I was part of a circle that needed to come to an end of the cycle. Thank you, Lord. June 7, 1996

God is the foundation that gives us life. Man is dominant only in his stupidity; alcohol destroys families. “Write God’s words to begin to end, what exactly He and only He says, from the Holy Spirit through Christ Our Lord, Amen.” “But know I got caught up in the moment,” “make them look.” June 8, 1996

Holy Scripture

“To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me.”
— Acts 26:18

Reading and writing, knowledge is limitless. The Bible is past, present, and future. Omnipresent since its writings. The heart searches for its home all its born day. The heart is the home of the highest. The soul, choose to live, and you will have everlasting life. Through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Six mountains to climb; the seventh you rest with and through Jesus Christ. While the sheathing of the old ways, memories with pain, the sins you have in yourself, and those that have affected your life adversely. The new seeds are planted through the regeneration of the truth we all have, inside us. June 10, 1996

I have ups and downs. I know we all do. I know all my diligent study in the Bible is helping my future. The regeneration is regenerating itself through the energy that is Jesus Christ Holy Spirit. I can see it around me. June 13, 1996

Solitary: I have not been sleeping, restless, lonely probably, no dwelling of my own, no escape, no fantasy, dealing with reality. I am using my time wisely, not being idle in mind. I needed a lot of knowledge to get through this spiritual awakening solitary. Me and the Spirit of Our Heavenly Father.

I have not wasted these last six months at all. Painful, but I have an inside understanding of the degeneration that has haunted man in our sphere of time and reason. It took giving up sole possession of everything, even my stuff, and being left with nothing. Two months later I got my maiden name back.

I fought through hell to come back to some forgiveness of myself, reasons, situations, and circumstances. I have to get out in public, but all my time, in the research of God’s word, I have run across quicksand. No one believes you except my guardian angel. Quick to judge, sure to condemn.

Whose condemnation is it? Not mine; your time will come. My time was just sooner. Believe what you may, all the words written in the Bible are yesterday; today, is tomorrow.

Past, present, and future: God’s gift is the present. Sheathe the past through Jesus Christ Holy Spirit and look forward to the future. For it is only through Jesus Christ that we can be forgiven; He is the opening of our souls.

Then the baptism—the death of sin, rebirth through and with Jesus Christ, the redemption of our sins—the cleansing sometimes continues; you do not think you can take another development, and a bigger one comes around. June 14, 1996

Perceive
Now, I can perceive. Before, when I was in the muck of destruction, I could not think. Now I have an unlimited span in my mind’s eye. There it stands firm in my being. June 16, 1996,

Confused: I am confused about my spiritual awareness; the knowledge is there, it is all in my writings, my keepsakes, which are essential to me. I know the meaning of truth. I can write it, but I can not speak it.

In the past five and a half months, I have been reading God’s Words, studying daily for hours. I have written prayers, letters, and vocabulary, and set a definite consciousness of the presence of God, which I felt I could not reach. All the things that need to be done will be done in perfect order in perfect time. June 17, 1996.

Holy Scripture

“Enter in the strait gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.”
— Matthew 7:13-14

Spiritual Affirmations

I consciously release my grip on self-control and anchor my day entirely in the steady direction of scripture.

The old cycles and painful memories are peeling away cleanly, creating a wide and unlimited space in my mind’s eye.

I confidently place my family into the hands of the Lord, knowing that His protective timing is completely flawless.

Though the processing is slow and intense, my soul steadily regenerates through the active energy of the Holy Spirit.

Reflection

This raw narrative documents the extreme visual and spiritual transition from a suffocating environment into clear, boundless perception.

When trying to manually steer a fractured life through sheer willpower, it is easy to slip backward into what feels like a cold fountain of slushy muck.

True clarity only breaks through when the self-reliance is quieted, allowing the limitless vocabulary of the Bible to flood the mind and build a solid tower out of precious spiritual jewels.

Solitude and stripping away every physical possession became the quiet crucible where forgiveness and real boundary lines were forged.

Climbing those distinct symbolic mountains demands a painful sheathing of old family wounds, generational alcohol patterns, and the constant ridicule of an unseeing world.

By standing firm in the inner chamber and processing the hurt one day at a time, the confusion resolves into a permanent witness posture, beautifully prepared to benefit others walking through similar global conditions.

Slushy Muck

"Where time slows down and the heart listens"