Healing From Silent Anger and Abuse                        Through Christ’s Love

“Calling some women “nuts,” So accessing a surprise divorce attack on October 23, 1997. I feel the imminent need to write a note to you regarding your answer about divorce. Oh, your answers are glorified, but it is the man’s answer, not the woman’s, to any degree.

Outsiders do not understand why these women have lost themselves to jealousy, possessiveness, and out-of-control obsession: it is a degenerative process.

After the honeymoon, then what? The woman takes care of the man’s every need: feedings, not feelings, but yeah you have to take care of that to. Cleaning, doing this, doing that, getting this, getting that, not doing this, not doing that, lecturing of bull dung, and submitting ourselves to their every whim, their nights out, and all our nights alone.

Then there comes the baby; then the child is first. Extra work cycles into a degenerative process, and the women drown. Name-calling, acts of disrespect, and drinking days become more frequent. The man gets less care because the wife is tending to the baby’s needs, which are on call twenty-four hours a day. Who does not know that?

The woman is exhausted! The days cycle to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years. Baby two, once again, days, weeks, months. Baby three, no time off. 82, 84, 86, gallbladder surgery September 28, 1984, nine-inch cut across my gut, sixty-nine stones. Four months after my son was born.

Even if the woman is not working out of the home. She is taking care of not herself, but everyone else. No time off! Financially dependent, isolated, all needs magnified with Mom. Especially when left on her own to do the daily devotional and then the nightly routine, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, the same routine, exhausted.

We lose our spontaneity and independence. Our husbands have to male bond, with outings of drinking, and hearing the same stories, while wives get over being neglected.

The love that once was has taken a journey to the other side. The control of the situation becomes a negative cycle. “Silent abuser” anger, frustration, fights over money, man being dominant over the woman, intimidation, isolation, control, acts of violence, being called ugly, disgusting names, having to submit to lies, deceit, etc.

They have their life, and we isolate with our children. We are beaten down verbally daily: nothing is good enough except sex-Ha!

Of course we get poked, pinched, pulled, thrown, spit on, cursed at, called ugly disgusting names, squashed, joint crunches, bloody lips, bruised on the extremities, plus crunches in the glands around the jaw, that do not show bruising but hurt for so long, slaps, and pokes with objects. (Once is too much)

Intimidated, we feel we are unworthy, so we withdraw deeper. We do complain, to a few, and we get told to leave the situation, but we know we cannot. It is not that easy.

The repetitious cycles close us off to relief, and we feel and are bound in silent emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, and verbal anguish.

Our Spirit of Life has hit the darkened corners of Our Presence, “death in the flesh.” Our soul, our life, is in bondage; the chains are linked, through the cobwebs of years, submitting to our alcoholic, controlling, dominating, male chauvinist, pig “narcissist husbands.

Then we find out, all the while, our once beloved has been loving someone else while abusing us.

I am speaking for women in the world who have lived the degradation of a blessed unity that has turned to crap.

All of us will overcome through the blood of Christ Jesus. Where lies justification? In Him, through Him, round about Him. From God Through Christ Jesus to Us. Total Salvation, in the Oneness of Spirit, Through Christ Our Lord.

I demanded justification from the judge. Then I ended up losing my husband, my children, my home, and all my belongings—my choice at thirty-six years old, only having worked out of the house for a couple of months. I refused to say I did not want a divorce. I turned to the system thirteen and a half years too late, and it did not recover me and my three children.

So I gave my burden to God through Christ Jesus, and he and his new wife have everything.

I found understanding of the wherefore art thou on these critical issues and will publish a book for all the afflicted.

In Christ Jesus’ hands, this matter lies. I did send it to her; I did not hear back. He took me to child support court two months before he gave me back all three of my children on January 17, 1998.

On the 17th, I came down to the Valley to go to Child Support to tell them what he was doing. They said it was OK, so I went back, and on the 18th, I took total responsibility for my three teenagers.

9/3/15 At that time, I had two years of my book, and that is what is in “In Presence of Spirit.” It was what I had ready. It was not complete. It took me till October 1999 for them to take me off the CS and give me complete custody of my three teenagers. Oh, and credit me, for what I had paid and what they said I owed; they did not pay me back a cent.

We lost two years, ten, twelve, and fourteen, and I got them back twelve, fourteen, and sixteen. So now, all these years later, the second wife of the husband of my youth tells me on the phone that my only and ever husband is not the father of my three living children, and my nine grandchildren, one in heaven, are not his grandchildren.

Blood-wise, they are, but he was not there for the grandbabies births or, for that matter, anything else. He has not even met his eighth grandchild, his second girl.

Yes, I did not want him to go to jail for his outstanding child support bill, so I wrote a note to the attorney general and said I wanted to take it off, but it was only because of everything he did for me when I did not work. I stayed home with my babies, where I wanted to be and he too.

So whatever I personally cost him, I am paid in full, and we are severed. He had the kids for two years, I had them, 0 to ten, twelve, and fourteen, then twelve, fourteen, and sixteen to date. To mention, I carried them for 27 months of pregnancy. I am the one that has been here for them. August 3, 2014

October 12, 2014: Seriously, I cannot force myself to fix this one and publish it the right way. I cannot draft it, so your reading, as is for now. It is the hardest one.

Oh man, I have to update. November 17, 2014. It is fixed as best as I can personally do. Thanks for reading. Wendy. Okay, I fixed it and added a little bit. Thank you for reading the writings of inpresenceofspirit.com and now inpresenceofspirit.org.

Scriptures:

“For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”
— Matthew 18:20 (KJV)

• “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”
  — Romans 8:18
• “And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them? I tell you that he will avenge them speedily.”
  — Luke 12:7-8
• “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”
  — Revelation 21:4
• Affirmations:

Reflection:
Originally recorded as a raw letter to an editor on October 23, 1997, this profound text stands as an absolute, unashamed declaration of deliverance over decades of severe brokenness and systematic injustice.

It exposes the agonizing, hidden reality of domestic abuse and the exhausting weight carried by an isolated mother, contrasting the failures of earthly systems with the sovereign recovery found in Christ Jesus.

By tracing the complex timeline of legal battles, custody struggles, and cruel generational accusations, the narrative reveals that true justification cannot be granted by a human judge or legal decree.

Instead, the moment of absolute freedom unfolds when every heavy burden, broken relationship, and financial tie is permanently severed and tossed to the sands of time.

Ultimately, this foundational testimony serves as a brilliant monument of spiritual triumph, proving that the chains of silent anguish are completely dismantled when you step into the oneness of Christ’s love, transforming a history of affliction into an enduring beacon of steady hope for the world.