“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and save such as be of a contrite spirit.”
— Psalm 34:18 (KJV)

“Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son:”
— Colossians 1:13 (KJV)

“To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me.”
— Acts 26:18 (KJV)

Daily Affirmations

I. Out of Darkness: By the power of Jesus Christ, I am lifted out of the heavy darkness of trauma and carried into a pure state of divine grace.

II. Redeemed Testimony: My past survival is not a curse, but a sacred gift meant to bring comfort, healing, and light to a suffering world.

III. The Dwelling of Peace: I open the inner chamber of my heart completely, trusting that the Holy Spirit has ignited an eternal light that no earthly pain can dim.

No Cover Up For My Abused Self

You know I have felt over the years that it is only in the Spirit of our dear Heavenly Father. Since I started writing the book at the beginning of 1996, I have wondered: Who am I to write what I have, and who in the world cares about what I have done?

But all the while, time and time again, it was my journey from the darkness of my soul to bring light back to my soul for the loss of my life and my love.

Through my writings, it lifts me out of darkness into a state of grace. Grace is given by Jesus Christ. I know my pain was buried; my pain was ugly, and my pain was right in my face. When I left, I was in shock.

I searched deep into myself through all the readings, all the prayers, all the crying and mourning, and through the things I put up with on the emotional roller coaster of the negative that had consumed our lives.

I had no cover-up for my abused self, from him or from me, for losing myself to the lie, because that is all it was. I once said, “If this was all a game, everyone lost.” Well, you know, the only thing we lost was the fight.

My straightforward being is a constant in these writings. It is only in the spirit of our dear Heavenly Father, who made my experience a gift and not a curse.

It is a gift to mankind for the remission of the world’s sins. In God, I live through Jesus Christ, and His Holy Spirit has ignited the light in my soul to induce the omnipresence of every prayer for humankind, opening up the kingdom of heaven within each one of us.

Oh please, who am I? No one, not even myself, picks me apart. The Lord, through me, gave me His Holy Spirit to perpetuate an ongoing dialogue with Him “In Presence of Spirit.” That is what is up.

All summed up for me, right? No! Not for a second. It is made “In Presence of Spirit” for His purpose, to stay with me until the end of time and forever. Now, this is the only forever, I can only imagine.

It was never a competition against or with the husband of my youth. Although it is obvious, I am not competing. I stayed unmarried, and he was married all but three months of those fourteen years.

Our kids are adults; his kids are in the first grade and kindergarten. Now he is staying, making it right. His little game caught up with him. Now that I know it was all his game, because he always competed with me for some strange reason—reasons that have now come to pass.

I survived every obstacle to complete for me, mine, and the Lord’s, “In Presence of Spirit” to be shared. It is a must of my desire and my quest.

I cannot in my mortality state it any different. I refuse to be embarrassed about my small part in this. To repeat: “But what oneself is to You, dear Lord.” He gave me my heart and my soul back “In Presence of Spirit—The Original Writing.”

I thought long and hard about that—the first piece of my heart that He gave me eyes to see so I could write it down “In Presence of Spirit.” And then closed they went. I was part of the negative inside me, not just my negative, but everyone’s. Take it any way you want it.

I have to see it through; no door has opened yet, so this is all or nothing. What do I have to lose? I guess I am the one who is going to open that door. Hey! What? The door has already been opened, and no one dared to come into Wendy’s “In Presence of Spirit.” When they do, I know I will feel better. I love it; He gave me meaning before, during, and after my misery.

In the presence of my misery, Jesus took my hand and guided me out of darkness into the light of His ever-presence. I have been a silent partner with Christ in me, the hope of glory.

Silent I must not be anymore; too many are suffering. Although I still do not speak what I wrote, if it is the Holy Spirit’s will for me to speak at that time, so be it, with one heart to heal.

October 27, 2008

Reflection

October 2008, this landmark foundational writing serves as a raw, unfiltered bridge between a devastating past and a divinely appointed future.

It marks the exact moment the writer completely sheds the painful weight of survival, choosing transparency over concealment and recognizing that a broken road can be turned into a holy instrument.

By viewing a season of severe personal trial not as a permanent curse but as an active spiritual gift, the text illustrates how personal survival transforms into a guiding light for others who are quietly suffering.

Walking hand-in-hand with Jesus out of the shock of trauma, this piece stands as an open gateway—inviting readers to leave behind human games, break their silence, and step directly into the healing, ever-present warmth of the Holy Spirit.

Originally published on inpresenceofspirit.com

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